do you watch Modern Family? if so, you will totally appreciate this analogy. if not, you should. you really, really should. the funniest show on television, by far. anyways…
i am married to Jay Pritchett.
if only that meant i was Gloria… *sigh* but seriously, my B is turning into Jay Pritchett.
if you don’t watch the show *gasp* (do it now! go!), i guess i should tell you about Jay. he’s in his sixties (double B’s age, mind you!), the father of the bunch, and married to the stunning Sofia Vergara (Gloria). he’s an old Navy man with a gruff exterior, but in reality he is a huge marshmallow. in a nutshell, i would say that Jay is outspoken, an excellent complainer, and always a tad cantankerous. but somehow manages to be charming, i think. oh, and he loves a good scotch.
how is this B, you ask?
exhibit A: we went from having sandwiches to cocktails due to a lack of parking…
today after church we drove to Rice Village to get a quick bite to eat. i suggested Zoe’s Kitchen. it’s yummy, inexpensive, and fast. B had major studying to do y’all. so we locate Zoe’s and circle the block a couple of times looking for parking. then we drive down a block. then 2 blocks and contemplated walking in our church clothes. then debated over paying for the parking garage. finally, an exasperated B sees a trendy looking restaurant on the corner and asks if i had heard of it. yes, i heard it was good. before i knew it, he had whipped into the valet line and *grumble, grumble, grumble* something about “the d*mn parking” *grumble, grumble, grumble.*
so instead of a quick, inexpensive meal, we valet parked and spent way more than we intended on a fancy brunch. ha! and it. was. amazing. i had the most delicious peach bellini in the entire world. seriously- it was like an alcoholic snow cone. and B was a happy, fun date. he just had zero patience for the parking…
exhibit B: he rescheduled his own birthday celebration because he was just too
darn d*mn tired… (let’s be real here- Jay and B would both say d*mn.)
his birthday was earlier this month and it fell during a particularly difficult week. B preferred his birthday float on by without any sort of recognition…we’re kind of at that age- they’re not so fun anymore- but i said he had to pick something. he chose a steak dinner and we made plans to go out the weekend following his actual birthday. but after taking 4 exams in 5 days, the boy was low on sleep and enthusiasm. it took us an entire week to declare a re-do. i booked him a massage (to make up for the fact that i didn’t even buy him a b-day gift #wifefail) and i made a reservation at a nice steakhouse he’s been wanting to try. oh and i let him pick out a bottle of scotch. that’s all the boy really wanted- red meat and scotch.
so just for fun and in honor of his birthday, i
asked made B participate in a (mostly) rapid fire interview. if i had a video camera, i would have recorded this Modern Family style with him sitting on the sofa, but this will have to do. i hope it’s a fun way to get to know the smart, insightful, witty man that i married. the guy who wants to discuss world events and politics over breakfast. the fella who eats the exact same thing for breakfast (seriously, i call it the ‘B Special’) every single day. the dude who is so tough he makes me feel safe, but is so kind he takes me shopping. what a guy!
what would you rather be doing today on your birthday?
B- fly fishing.
N- what? so random. have you ever even been fly fishing?
B- no, but today seems like a good day to start.
seriously, what would you like to do for your birthday?
B- pretend it didn’t happen.
N- awwwwww, so sad.
B- i thought this was supposed to be rapid fire. i protest.
N- okay, okay. here goes.
favorite television show?
(it ain’t cheap to feed this boy!)
what television character do you most identify with?
Rick Grimes from “The Walking Dead” and of course, Jay Pritchett.
what would be your weapon of choice in the zombie apocalypse?
what’s your favorite thing about me?
what’s your favorite thing about Lola? *snickering*
that she sleeps…a lot.
any book out of the Vince Flynn, Mitch Rapp series.
if you could have dinner with anyone, who would it be?
Pope Francis. even though i’m not Catholic, he’s high on the list.
place you would most like to travel to?
Emirates stadium in London to watch Arsenal play.
this is a loaded question…but if you could do anything other than be a doctor, what would you do?
day trader. well, wait…do you mean anything? i would be a professional soccer player if i had the skill, but that’s not what you’re asking so i guess day trader. or maybe a professional poker player.
okay, so here’s a good follow up question…what do you want to do next year for your birthday?
B- go to las Vegas.
N- yep, knew before i asked. 12 months to save your pennies.
what is your biggest hope for this year?
B- turks and caicos is pretty high on that list.
N- heck yeah!
B- my biggest hope would be to just enjoy this time for what it is.
what is your biggest fear? and it can be something silly, because you could go dark really fast…
B- *laughing* snakes. i hate snakes.
N- what is mine?
B- getting stabbed in the shower.
N- yeahhhh, scary sh*t. (i watched Psycho at a formative age. that scene stuck with me.)
how do you feel about being featured on the happy redhead?
B: it’s quite awkward, really.
N: think your friends will laugh?
B: i don’t know that my friends read your blog.
N: ouch. rude.
if you were on survivor, how would you win?
those are trade secrets. i can’t divulge that.
what would be your best survival skill? it doesn’t have to be physical…
knowing when to be quiet.
i saved this little gem for last. it’s my favorite…
if you were stranded on a deserted island, by yourself- not on Survivor but in real life, what three items would you want with you?
B: a coffee pot. with coffee. can that just be one?
N: ok, i’ll give you that.
B: a satellite tv.
N: oh my gosh. okay.
B: and a cow.
N: so you could milk it or eat it?
B: hmmmm, maybe i’ll have to forgo the satellite tv for a bull. so then i can have cattle.
N: so you’re basically going to turn your deserted island into a cattle ranch? *laughing* is that what i just heard?
B: uh yeah, i guess that is what you just heard.
N: so to recap- coffee, a cow, and a bull. i guess you can take the boy out of West Texas, but you can’t take the West Texas out of the boy.
cheers to you, my “old soul.” you get more handsome every year.